Thursday, May 27, 2010

Sweet Surrender

Over the past couple of months, I've been engaged in a very deep healing and feeling and inquiry process with myself, my body, and my acupuncturist, Sandra Chiu. I've been just a wee bit resistant, and Sandra has been encouraging me to surrender.

Yesterday I had a whole list of things on my list to DO. I had already DONE some of them and then I took a break to do some journaling and my body started talking to me again (some menstrual symptoms - hence, the acupuncture), and so I stopped and got in the tub with some lavendar epsom salts and breathed. And cried a little bit.

And then I came into my room and laid down and breathed and cried some more. And surrendered to the pain in my belly. And surrendered my plans for the day. And created the following, which I'd like to share with you. I call it my Manifesto of Surrender.

I surrender.

I surrender to my body.

I surrender to my sadness.

I surrender to my fear.

I surrender to my anger.

I surrender to my joy.

I surrender to my desire.

I surrender to my loss.

I surrender to my passion.

I surrender to my pain.

I surrender to my pleasure.

I surrender to my love.

I surrender to my heartbreak.

I surrender to my longing.

I surrender to my shame.

I surrender to my frustration.

I surrender to my ecstasy.

If Goddess speaking through my body wants me to rest, I will rest.
If She wants me to cry, I will cry.
If She wants me to scream, I will scream.
If She wants me to work, I will work.
If She wants me to lie here and do nothing, I will lie here and do nothing.
If She wants me to get up and do stuff, I will get up and do stuff.
If She wants me to cancel my plans or change my plans, I will cancel them or I will change them.

I am here. Right now. And that is all that matters.