Tuesday, November 18, 2008

The Chai Continues & What About the Crankies?

2 things:

1 - The next time I went into the Pret a Manger to get a chai, he didn't give it to me for free but he did give me a large for the price of a regular. At first he said, "What size do you want?" and before I could answer, he said, "Oh yeah! You're getting a large for the regular price." And when he presented me with the chai with the perfect cinnamon star on top, he paused and said, "Let's have a moment of silence for this," and I said, "What a masterpiece!" and we giggled. When I left the shop, I was smiling and feeling lighter.

2 - In case you're wondering, no, I am not always in the flow or tuned into the positive energy or happy-go-lucky. In fact, it is a constant discipline for me to bring myself back there. And sometimes I deliberately choose not to bring myself there because I can see there's too much of what I like to call "static on the line" - meaning, I'm too flummoxed and cranky to go right to joy or appreciation. So it's better to go deeper into the cranky first. Today I woke up later than anticipated (after having spent too much time watching TV and going to bed too late last night) and was feeling generally cranky and displeased to be awake and in my life. So instead of proceeding with my plans for the day, I decided it was time to do something about how I was feeling, since I have noticed an increased tendency to medicate myself with TV or other avoidance tactics over the past few days.

So I wrote a long thing about everything I was frustrated about and scared about and hated myself over, etc., etc. And by the end I had such insight into what the overall, underlying issues were, and such appreciation for how much I'm growing. And eventually I got sort of tired of that head space and wanted to come back to the other side. So I did. But I wouldn't have been able to do so if I hadn't fully allowed myself to go into the dark side. Writing, venting, crying - whatever it takes.

And that exercise did not solve all of my problems in an hour but it did shift my consciousness, so I know the rest of my day will be rooted in an entirely different emotional and mental space, which will affect my mood AND my productivity.

Ta ta for now!

No comments: